Contradiction

Yes... I do have a lot. I did accomplish a lot. I do see it now.

I suddenly saw that the thing I am really afraid of is the plain fact that there is not much more that I can have. Yes. The whole thing is contrary to what I thought.

The whole point is to start taking from what I have accumulated through the years. Start to take advantage of that. And not wait to accumulate more. Not wait for anything else. All else that there is or might be is for me to build on what I have accumulated until now. Build on the base that I've created.

When I realised this yesterday at night my inner interlocutor just dropped silent. He had nothing more to say.

This is the first sign of significant change. The schemes will return to haunt me I know. But with less and less power. I can feel that.