Constant Opposition

I am in constant collision with the outside world.

I am like a continent and other people and phenomena are also continents. My life is a constant, heating collision. The magma moves around. Pushes and stretches. These clashes abrade my soul. This abrasion constantly shapes my inside into new forms. There is no end. I travel as magma. Up, down and sideway currents. Different parts - different emotional temperatures in different cycles. Nothing is constant. Repeating convections bring an LSD-like experience. I can't anchor anywhere. Same things are contnously different and new. I do not know anything. I never return home. It is always some other place. I long for what's known and constant.


But then.... I am afraid of constant. Constant is but easy. Constant is safe and I yet don't want safe. I WANT to travel. I WANT to discover. I WANT to redefine. Because I LIVE this way. I WANT to SCRATCH MY WOUNDS. I WANT TO BLEED...

Because this is how I lived my entire life... I don't know anything else.

I am a wounded predator. Running away and chasing at the same time.

All this bullshit is only subjective. Nothing of this is outside.

This is critical.

I'm in a loop.