Nosce te ipsum

Mostly, things are not the way they seem to be at a first glance. It's worth remembering at work and in your private life. Especially in context of conflict but also before it comes to a conflict. Insight is a trait of wise. It is a worthwile skill. Since a conflict (a day to day one, mostly) is a matter of our own judgement (we are capable of avoiding conflict by catching its early symptoms), we should begin with learning ourselves (our emotions, reactions, our reasons) as we are the ones who decide whether to engage into conflict or not. Believe that, please!

Marching on... Learning myself.

Again I am deeply puzzled by a simplicity of subjective psychological problems one may have. I have lately discovered that a lot of my stress is caused by an a priori claim that things and people should be or act in such and such way. Also that I am to "work" in a certain way. As there was some rule or law that would justify such presumption. I was sure of this so in my subjective world this has not been even a presumtion, supposition - it was an axiom...
Well, lately I understood that it is not the things or people or me that are simply supposed to be, act in some way, but it is me who wants them to act or be like this. As simple and even stupid as it might sound, this discovery is essential, subjectively crucial to my development. In the past there was a time when I was constantly being treated as guilty of not being the way someone important to me would expect me to be in an a priori manner (this person would then "work" on me to remake me to meet this person's idea of me, his projection of how I should be and who I was to be - yes, this was one of my parents). This then became a blueprint inside me. And henceforth I (in my later life) expected me, other people and things to behave the way this blueprint told me to expect (i.e. to be or act in some specific, idealised way and there is or at least should not be any other possibility. This's caused me stress when it worked differently - and mostly it worked differently). This have been causing a lot of distress and problems with my relations with things and people. I felt lost, misunderstood and that something was generally missing. I felt misfit.
Things and people (including me) have been causing me a lot of trouble because I expected them (remember that this includes me) to be (live, act, react, work, etc.) in certain idealized ways. Fucked up, I'm telling you...
At the moment I am still learning the extent of this mechanism to free myself from it completely. To judge things and people correclty. To have appropriate expectations; hence live a more psychologically hygienic life.